It Isn't Not Your Fault

The next training was a usual one till.. Coach called you out right after the training ended. You told me to go off first and so i did. I was quite worried that you might be scolded for not doing the run very well. I hold on to my phone in my hands since it will be easier for me to detect your text message and tell me on why did the coach called you out.

When i'm in the bus seated with my girlfriends on the way home,my phone vibrated and it was an unknown number calling. Without thinking throughly,i pick up the call. 

Me : Hello?

Gabriel : Oh hi. Look,let's just make it quick. Coach scolded your guy because both of you are together and coach doesn't allows that. He says that it might affect you two current studies and you both are too young! Coach was very angry at him and put it as his blame.

Me : Huh? Okay.. Is he okay? But why? Nevermind. Is he alright? He's okay,right?

Gabriel : Yeah. He's kind of okay. But he's a little emotional right now. 

Me : Okay okay. Do you mind if i talk to him for a second?

Gabriel : Hmmm.... Yeah,sure. But do not take too long.

Handing the phone over to you...

You : Hi

Me : Hi. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. So sorry for what happened.

You : Yeah. It's okay..(A long pause) Bye..

Me : Bye..

Call ended..

After we ended the call, i quickly texted you since i'm still not satisfied talking about it.

Me : I'm really sorry.

You : It's okay.

Me : It's all my fault. I really shouldn't have..done this..and got you in trouble.
You : It's okay.
Me : Do you think coach will contact our parents about it?
You : I really don't know about it.
Me : Oh.. Okay..
You : Look,can we end our conversation here?Sorry.
Tears were already wetting my cheeks. I know what this means. It means it's over. We're over.
Me : Okay.

I realised that my girlfriends around me were really shocked to see me in that condition. But once one of them saw the texts,they understood. They shush me since i'm in a public bus and it's not good to cry in public places. They may have weird thinking about me.

I didn't talk for the rest of that journey. It went so fast. Too fast that i couldn't breathe. Too painful,even the painkillers doesn't help. My girlfriends had stopped talking out loud too. They were now either talking softly or listening to their mp3 musics. I leaned my head on the window and watch the world goes by. Thinking about my happiness that was always happening with you that was crushed a few minutes ago just because of my once-favourite coach didn't agree on our relationship. Damn it.

This isn't what i was looking forward for when i agree to be with you. I was looking for long-lasting you but.. it's just gone like that in a flick. I didn't know how to cope things up after this. Without your support,i seem useless.

The Crowd Knows It All

It was a lovely day. We didn't watch any movies but just a simple lunch at MacDonald. Eventhough it's not a lunch to me since i only ate an apple pie while you eat an upsize McSpicy,i still have a good day. And i don't eat a heavy lunch because i'm already full spending time with you especially on this first date and Valentines Day. I could stare at that bare face of yours and i would never starve. The sweetest thing that happen on that day is when there's some lion dance happening in the mall and they went down on the escalator with us and we could only communicate by ear-ear talk and we were very close since it's very noisy. Too close that i could touch your skin and feel your arms on my waist.It was a very simple date since it's our first date and never went out together before.

The very next day,we ran the 10km together. Your cliques wasn't surprised at all since they've known about us. We talked about the previous day. You asked whether i enjoyed the Valentines gift which is four packs of Cookies-N-Cream Hershey. I loved you more for that,i told you and giggled. You laughed. The people from our back kept giggling and awww-ing at us. I'd blushed. When we ended the run,i felt something different. I felt something weird from my other runs alone. I didn't feel tired at all neither do i have my asthmatic attack. I didn't know the power of love could take that all away. Could take the pain away. Could fade the bad memories slowly. I think you did it. You'd make it slow and steady. 

I think we don't have to mind the people talking about us because there is already the unseparatable us. We actually thought that the everyone around us would accept us and have us as who we are. But there's just some people that's not happy with us and want to break the thread. Someone who's full of jealousy at us being together. At first,we didn't thought of it. At all.

The First Date

I texted you right after training had ended. I didn't asked you about what they said to me because i trusted you and have faith in you that you're not cheating behind my back and they're just making some rumours. So this is how our conversation goes
Me:Hey
You:Hey,how's your day?
Me:Oh,it's fine. Why didn't you come for training?
You:Had an extra class just now and it ended quite late.
Me:Oh,i see. Anyway,just to dig in a bit. I don't really like the way your cliques talk bad about you and interefering into our relationship. I hope you understand what i meant here.
You:Oh,i've already reminded them and i'm so sorry.
Me:It's okay.
You:Hmmm.Can i ask you something?
Me:Yeah,sure. What is it?
You:Are you free tomorrrow?
Me:Tomorrow?Yeah,since there's no training tomorrow i think i'm free. Why?
You:I'm just wondering if you would like to be my valentine tomorrow.

When i received that message,i freak out. I literally ran the whole house with a grin. When my parents asked why,i just told them i'd score high marks for my latest history test. They just nodded. They don't have to know about us yet since they thought we're too young to be in a relationship.

I replied you,yeah,of course. with a smiley face.  The whole night,i was thinking about you. Thinking about what's going to happen the next day on our meet up. Imagining that you'll make my day,be my prince and being the sweetest valentine ever. But actually,i'm quite nervous too since this is my first date and i've never been anyone's valentine before neither do i celebrate it. If only i could see the future. I didn't want to screw up this first date.

The next day,everybody were happy in school especially those who are already attached. Nobody knew that i was someone's valentine till my girl bestfriend asked me out that day as her valentine but i rejected since i've already got a date. She shouted,"What?You're on a date today?Oh my god! Who's your valentine?" And she also shouted at the wrong timing. She shouted in class when Mrs Lee,my Chemistry teacher,walk in to the classroom and guess what? Everybody in the room turn into a chaos and run towards me asking the same questions again and again."Who's your valentine?" 

Mrs Lee:Looks like someone has a date today with her valentine. But too bad we'll have an extra Chemistry class as our Continual Assessment 1 is coming soon.

Everyone starts to grumble and protesting too but hey,we can't beat a fierce teacher,can we? So everybody went back to their seats but the one seating nearby me still asked the same quetions. Damn. Now,i don't trust anyone. Including my own bestfriend. 

I'm going to be late for my first date. All thanks to Mrs Lee whom release the class late. Rushing to the planned venue by you but at the same time,my heart was beating very fast. I'm still nervous for my first date.

Phone number and Texts

The next meet up,which is my next athletics training,i went alone since my other girlfriends went for their leadercamp briefing. I met this girl from your school and she said that she's from the same class as you. I asked her a lot of questions about you and told her to keep it a secret and not telling it out. I thought i'd trust her. But i changed my mind ten minutes later when you just arrived with the other macho-guys from your gym session.

 Now i didn't trust her because just after that day training,she came running up to me panting and asking my number. I asked her why since she's still a stranger to me but it's not her want,but yours. Man,why are you so afraid to ask me? I don't even bite and i'm not that fierce,compared to Mr Goh (disclipline master of my school) whom everyone's scared of. So my first reaction was,okay... And then,a sentence that makes me feel brave enough and giving you the impression that i'm way different from any other girls. And it was.." Let him ask my number himself if he want to," I told that girl and i could see her jaw dropped. She quickly ran to you and your cliques and told you what i'd just told her. The other cliques were wow-ing at you and you were blushing. I just walk to the bus stop and having this high pride and confidence that you'll walk up to me and asked my number. And surprisingly,you did. 

You came to me with your blushing cheeks,your white bright teeth and your unforgetable sweet dimples,you asked my number. I gave you my number and the crowds gone wild. We were smilling at each other for a moment till you said goodbye and your cliques kept pushing you saying how brave you are and telling you to text me and add me on Facebook,follow me on Instagram and stalk me whenever you can. The way you blushed and kept catching short moments of staring at me makes me feel uncomfortable because i'm not used to it. Anymore. You're weird. I love weird people because i'm weird too.

Just after a few minutes after that,i got into my bus and my phone vibrated. I thought it was my dad since i'm already quite late to reach home because of the training ended quite late. So i quickly reach out for my phone and i saw an unknown number texted me,Goodbye. I look through the bus windows and saw you waving and smiling. I blushed and waved you back. Of course i'd reply your text saying Goodbye too. The bus drove past you as you watch it goes by.

We texted all the way until i reached home and you told me that you'll text me again at 9.30pm before you go to sleep as you need to do your homeworks and your self-study. So we wished goodbye and for that whole week,that's my new hobby.

Everyday after training,we'll text about our day but mostly,i started the conversation first because i miss you so much that i can't even study for my history test. You never said that you missed me,neither do i because i think that it will be kind of awkward and too fast since we've just known each other for two months and i still want it to be slow and steady relationship. 

The next week training,i was searching for you but all i'd saw was only your cliques but without you. So i ran the 10km with your cliques since my running speed is same like theirs. They suddenly open the topic about us. I stumbled on a rock but i didn't fell when they said that you had it covered without me knowing about it..

Love At First Sight

It's all the same. We started out as friends then bestfriends and lastly lovers. It's a cliche,i guess. Only that,mine didn't last like others did. It begins when the crowd are saying that we have the couple sport shoes. A orange neon with the same neon laces. It's obvious since it's neon and no one else dare to wear neon shoes to run in the forest. We were embarassed because we were strangers at first and you're from another elementary school. 

So,u started the conversation. Asking about my marathon timing and congratulating me for the good run. But you didn't stop there. You said it was a coincidence of our shoes. Then,at last, you asked my name and what's my grade. I'd asked the same questions too. You're from 9th grade,which is a year older than me. I choked when you said that you thought i was from 7th grade since i look younger than the others. You're funny and the way you talked were full of confidence and spontaneous. 

After long,there's a tiny feeling for you in this little heart of mine. But i didn't straight away fall for you,since my mind is still full of my ex boyfriend. I haven't been in any realationships after that heartbreaking breakup two years ago. Eventhough i know it was too young to fall in love,but we didn't even think about it because we aren't even matured. But now,i've think it through. I want to make it slow and steady. I didn't want to make the same mistakes again and i didn't want to fall for the same traps again. I didn't want to cry for these love-things again. I didn't want to regret for wasting my time for love again. I just.. don't want to repeat the same mistakes i made and messed everything up. Again! So.. you'd get it and yeah.. we didn't talk for a long time after that.

I started another conversation,asking if you're mad at me about my decision. You answered that you're not even angry at me but you're giving me space and time to relax my mind and not too focus on the relationship. You told me that you liked me but you promised not to break my heart like the others and will take it slow and steady,not rushing it through. I think you knew that i liked you too because i'd told my girlfriends about my 'crush' on you and they'd spread it around till you've heard it. When i heard people talked about us, both of us were blushing and protesting them by saying we're just friends. But we're not. We're more than friends,but less than a lover.

The next meet-up,a miracle did happened.